I Will Get There

I've never really had low self esteem-and to be honest I still don't haha. But I admit-right now I'm finding it hard to look at myself without getting discouraged. There is of course the hives that make me feel like I look like a reptile; then theres the massive stomach I have, and the stretch marks. And of course, since I'm trying some new treatments, I have to shower three times a day to keep the itch at bay, meaning theres no point in doing my hair and wasting makeup. Sigh. I admit...I miss feeling pretty. I guess I never really appreciated those basic things until now...so I guess that is a lesson in itself.

This then leads to me look through old pictures from when I wasn't pregnant [which feels like and eternity ago..] and long to look like that again. Stretch mark free, hive free, massive stomach free, etc. I always told people I couldn't wait to be pregnant because then I'd have an excuse to gain as much weight as I wanted; but now I realize how silly that was.

The good news of course is that its temporary. Even if it takes some time after she is born to get back to a point I'm happy with, I realize that it is doable and that I will get there. I just hope its sooner rather then later I guess. I would like to feel somewhat attractive again-not just for other people, but for myself. I guess I will just try to think of it as good motivation. Ugh-until then I guess I will try to block out my low points, and consider the super nice things people say about how how I'm 'glowing' as a compliment. Little do they know that the reason I am probably glowing is because I'm so freaking hot I'm melting haha.

Anyways-only 34 more days till my due date [yes, I'm counting and I don't even feel bad about it]. Then it will be all about baby and all about getting back to before...and I am so looking forward to that! I've included some of those old pictures, and a song that helps me put things into perspective. Like it says..I WILL GET THERE!

PS: I'm sorry if you guys are getting tired of reading about the same old things...I wish I had more exciting stuff to tell but this is just whats up right now for us. Hopefully that will change soon-but it is what it is I guess!