Why The UPS Man Is Scared Of Me

One thing that Luke and I find ourselves running into a lot is the whole 'I love you' competition. You know the one I'm talking about right? Where one person is constantly trying to top the other by saying, 'i love you' 'no i love you more' 'well i love you most..' and so on and so forth. We finally got to the point one day where we couldn't top the other by saying 'i love you and miss you most times infinity no returns.' That is the ultimate return. After this point, we both agreed whoever says it to the other person first wins. We made rules too, so that it isn't always super biased-like you can only say it once, because saying it twice will cancel it out or be cheating; another is that it has to be clear enough that the other person can hear you. This way you can't be tricky and say it quietly, and then tell the other person you already said it so you win.

All these have led to some pretty fun, creative responses. One of them was the other day. My mom and family were on their way home I heard the van pull up and thought this was the perfect opportunity to get Luke. Typically he runs up the steps, knocks on the door and comes in yelling it before I can get a word in edgewise. So I hid behind the door, and I heard a hard knock. I waited a second then I sprung the door open as quickly as I could and yelled my face off saying, "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MOST TIMES INFINITY NO RETURN!'...and there was nobody there. Thinking he was just hiding as he has done before, I jumped on the porch and continued to yell like a maniac into the street. After about two minutes of this tirade, I realized it wasn't Luke I was yelling at-but the very very scared and confused looking UPS man. Shocked, I immediately went into an awkward silence to which he said, sorry I was just dropping off your package, and I tried to explain what had happened...after this, he said he understood, laughed, and said to tell my brother that I won for the day!

....polite as he was, he hasn't come back since. And this is why I believe the UPS man is scared of me.